Over a month....

I've been a bit MIA again- still no real computer.  Hoping something cheap comes up for sale soon.  I'd love to not have to rely on my iPhone to check my emails and not having a computer to update this is a big deterrent as well.  Now that I have 2 jobs (2 paychecks) hopefully I'll get everything back on track and can look at getting something new.

I just recently wrote a guest post for my friend Kelly over at Living the Before. When I looked at how she put the post together it came crashing back to me- I need to get my head in the game big time.  I was talking with the BFF and it's one thing to know something but when someone says it out loud (or texting it to you) it can come crashing into your face.  I had lost 70# at my lightest/hard body point...so very close to 100# (that is the part that kinda stung).  I will do it...it just seems like it's hard for me to get back that "hard core" girl that I was when I started this journey.  I know it will happen.  My mini goal is to be in one-derland by my birthday, Oct. 30.  This is very doable.  It's only 15#...this shouldn't be this hard!

When I go to the gym I work my butt off.  I know my diet isn't on point though- which is like 70-80% of the process.  I know with dropping down my hours at the emergency clinic and getting a day practice job I'll be able to have more control.  Control is the wrong word, I always have control- it's just that working nights/overnights it's caffine and carbs that keep me going.  That needs to stop.  I need to stop choosing sleep over food and eat properly.  This new job definitely is okay with that- these people snack all day long.  They are a very relaxed office.  I love them!

I was super excited I got to use this machine the correct way :)

Once I get my finances situated I will be putting some funds aside for food shopping.  I have slacked in that area due to tight paychecks...bills take precedence over food.  I say this because I do live with family- so they buy food, but it's not conducive to me losing weight.  I also need to invest in a good lunchbox...something that I can keep my food with me at work and not have to run to the fridge every 2-3 hours.

I am very excited about this new schedule.  I have set up with Alpha to be training M/W/F every week.  I need to have that set time...gives me accountability because I may have a deal going with him but it's not necessarily cheap.  I can't be wasting my money on training and have my food not be on point.

Hopefully I'll get better at updating this thing...I'll make it a goal for Sept.  Maybe I'll even do another guest post once I hit one-derland. :)

My kickass shirt I bought to motivate myself

(Alpha loves it lol)

**hoping the pictures actually stay up this round**

Should I stay or should I go?????

Things have been on a bit of a rollercoaster...at least mentally.
Going to break this up into 2 little updates....

Work:  My emergency clinic is definitely putting a lot of stress on my body, and my mind.  It is getting a little better but my schedule isn't.  The only thing I can slightly hope for is in mid-August when preggers returns it'll get a little easier and I can get my bearings.  Right now I work from 6pm-1am on Wed & Fri, and then I have an overnight weekend 8-8 Sat & Sun.  This officially sucks (even my coworkers thinks so!).  The stinky schedule along with the stinky coworkers isn't making me want to stay employed here.  Not to mention I'm over not having money...for anything....and not advancing.  At least if I was making crap $ and had a shot at advancing, I'll deal with it but it's a very slow motion going on here.  I don't feel like I'm learning- and the technicians I do have on my side agree.  Since they moved me clinics every thing is wrong, but it's not as bad at other clinics.  I just wish they'd move me.  I'm hoping that it will be coming sooner rather than later.

However, I am still beefing up my resume so I can apply at some places.  Maybe get something where I get benefits again.  I really miss my insurance.  As much as I love my job- maybe relief is all I can do right now.  Getting a job where I can get out of debt and work towards going back to school- then maybe actually come back and be able to be used as reception and tech (not getting any flack- one can only hope).  Sidenote: I decided that I want to be a technician a little while ago.  I don't have my full degree anyway, I only have my AA.  I just want to finish school and be set in a direction.  I really do love my work- I also like working with team player people who want to help you grow (imagine that!).  For right now I don't think that it's in my cards to be here full time- although I'm not ruling out this place all together.  If I can find a Mon-Fri job and work my Wed & Fri/Sat I'd be happy.

Health: So things have been going slow and steady in the work out department.  I feel like I'm losing fat in areas, but also gaining muscle at the same time.  I have only lost 2 pounds so far but I see slight physical changes.  I love my gym and my trainer - and I've never been able to say that before.  Yeah, I like my gym (eh, it's a gym) and my trainer's cool.  This time I really love my gym.  I recommend them to anyone in the Orlando area.

http://fitnessfit4u.com/
(haven't figured out how to make the picture the link)

They discuss nutrition with you, they have group training, personal training (everyone is fantastic & knowledgable...especially Alpha), and they even offer food delivery for those that are on a time crunch or don't want to have to think about eating right.  I am very tempted by this and would love to do this- see first section for restrictions.  I get excited when I have the gym in the agenda!  It used to be excitement just for social reasons- personable trainer, training with the BFF. 




Ariel Yoga!



Now it's excitement because that's MY time.  I get to destress and push my body (in a good way when food is right, and not in the sick way that makes me hit the floor).  I know I say it every entry, and I'll keep saying- the gains on my weights get me excited.  I love seeing that on the machine I'm now curling with 100 pounds!  I'm over 50 on all other machine exercises.  I got put on this god-awful machine last session - it's mainly god-awful because I have to use it backwards because of my knee.  At my last set or 2 I was able to have him add 10 pounds onto the machine without dying!  I was so proud of myself- and have the bruises on my shoulders to prove it! :)  And because I'm in a picture-y type mood, here's the machine:

Just picture a person standing on this thing backwards- face inward towards the mat, in squat form so the shoulder section is on your shoulder and your squatting slanted into the machine.  Let's just say it's awkward...just about as awkward as the 6-foot something man showing you how he wants you positioned in the machine.

What gets you excited about working out?  What keeps you entertained enough to keep going and to come back another day for more!?

Old bruises, new bruises, mysterious bruises

It's been a while- to be honest I have not been in the mood.  I have barely keep up with tracking my food and my points for the Super Summer Challenge.  I just have slowly been feeling more and more "eh".  This week unfortunately takes the cake.

I was training with Alpha on Monday and I really had to focus at the end for my legs to hold my body up.  He thought it was my arms and was quick to take the hand weights from me- it wasn't that.  I'm sure it has something to do with my water intake (seriously lacking lately) and my food (not the best as we've run out of some core things to make healthy meals).  I am doing great still and increasing my weights but I'd really love to decrease my physical weight.  I am going to see what I am next week (as I have lost nothing between my first and second weigh in)- if it doesn't go down 1-2 pounds I need to seriously revamp things. Not gonna lie- not really sure how given my financial situation but something will be giving.  I'm also hoping that when my new vitamins come in that will help.  With energy help, I'm also hoping the vitamins will help with the bruising.  I bruise so easily!  It's crazy- I can count 4 bruises on my legs, 1 of which just appeared today and I have no clue where it came from. This anemia thing is for the birds!  2 that I know what I did- the shin/ankle was due to the hell ropes and the knee was from falling on my butt- I was doing shuffles while rubber banded to a wall.  Those are never good exercises for those that are not coordinated.  Not that I'm hoping this vitamin is a miracle- although that'd be nice, if it works and I have a good response then I would feel more open to trying other products I'll definitely let you know how it goes.

I have felt so exhausted this week.  Monday was eh, Tuesday I barely moved from my bed or the couch unless I needed to, and today- I really felt weak while we were at Sea World (for all of the 2 hours grand total that we were there).  Driving into work today was a chore- almost felt like I was dozing.  Good thing this shift I work with great people.  If it was people I wasn't happy with- this could go a lot worse.  I am just very ready to be home and asleep.  Nothing is helping me get my energy up. :/

Speaking of work- I spoke with admin yesterday and I'm anxious for things to change.  I explained to her how uncomfortable I am at the clinic I spend most of my shifts at.  She said she will be looking to have me moved as soon as she can.  It's a situation where I do not feel supported, or helped to do my best.  I get more benefit from my other clinic(s).  I'm sure...well, I know these stress situations play havoc on my body.  I almost forget about it because I'm so used to it until it gets bad and side effects happen.  What happens when you get stressed out? Cranky? Stress eat?  How do you deal with the stress...and the effects?

I have training tomorrow night...7pm.  Slightly hoping that with not having to rush around for things that I will be feeling better.  As I type this my stomach is not very happy and I am very sleepy.  I wish I could sleep in- unfortunately I have a dentist appointment at 11 (I'd reschedule if it wasn't the 4-5th time we've had to reschedule).