Baby steps

This weekend has been, for lack of better terms, the weekend from hell.  This just applies to my job- which from Friday night to Monday morning I work 31 hours.  I'm getting a break tonight and am able to update...which is hopefully won't be too far and in between while I am in the transition of getting a new computer.  I'm trying to get my stuff off my desktop in bits and pieces while it will let me before it dies and doesn't come back to me.  But I digress- the weekend from hell.

At my job there are 3 clinics that we all can, and some do, rotate around to.  I have been moved to the clinic that is in the boonies with the elderly, white trash, and country bumpkins.  Now this I can deal with- funny, irritating anticdotes.  What I can not deal with however is the staff that is rude and talk to me like I am stupid.  Of all the things I have dealt with in my life- being talked down to like I am stupid/slow/pick an adjective, that is a sure fire way to piss me off (no fuse just BOOM!).  I do not tolerate it, and I have quit jobs for less than some of the things I have put up with in this veterinary industry.  For every awesome vet, vet tech or receptionist I have met there are at least 3 idiots.  I deal with it to the best of my ability- which given I don't want to quit or go off on people, my come off as weak (there's avoidance, crying when speaking to my boss- crying due to stress/anger/frustration).  I am now at the point where I am going to have to have a sit down with my boss and let her know my concerns, also that I'd like to change clinics whenever possible.  Not to mention the crap coworkers on my shift, it's killing me in gas to get here for my shifts (round trip is 60 miles!).  You may be asking, what's new? Everyone deals with crappy coworkers.  'Tis true but I am relatively new and I am not getting a handle on skills I should have which in emergency medicine- no bueno.

Now I have rambled [generically] about my stress issues.  The part I am relatively proud of is this: no emotional eating was done.  Hooray!!!  This is a very big step for me- normally I'd be trying to find Reese's cups, M&M's, cakes.....you get the idea.  I didn't eat crap one time.  Did I almost cry? You bet!  Thank you PMS for that one.  I am very proud of this- baby steps in the right direction eventually lead to leaps in the right direction. :)

What is your stress relief?  Your good/bad habit when you are upset?

To make yesterday even better: I prepped all my food so there was very little to no crap to be found should I have made an effort to stress eat.  I grilled a couple fillets of chicken, made some broccoli & green beans, as well as some Teriyaki rice.  I brought a couple healthy snacks along for the ride, and some breakfast.  It was on like Donkey Kong and I totally kicked the Kong's ass.  :P  Proud doesn't even begin to explain how I felt about that day (well in my every day life).  The only way it would have been better was if I was having a training session right after the hell that was my Saturday shift.

Speaking of training.  I am so happy with my gains- I have been able to add weight to something every time I train.  I love it!  The only thing I am now slightly scared of is that I haven't been quite as sore after my training- good thing: gaining muscle (getting my strength back), bad thing: I'll have to tell Alpha (that's what we'll call my trainer) he will have to step up his game.  I love training!  I know it's not everyone's cup of tea but I love being pushed- I am not the best at pushing myself.  I know at some point I will have to do it on my own but right now I do not feel that I have the skills to do so.  I need the help from someone who knows what they're doing.  So I 've got Alpha doing the physical aspect, and then I have a friend in Cali who's helping give me advice on my nutrition.  Which as you can guess is my biggest down fall of all.  Of course we all know, weight loss is 80% diet and 20% exercise.  I'm so glad I struggle on the 80% portion! (:/)

In case it hasn't become apparent, I am one who is able to laugh at themselves- find humor in life's unpleasantries.  I believe this comes from years of mocking and having to put on a straight face.  This is not always people's cup of tea- they take me a bit too literally sometimes.  I do understand that some people don't view it as funny all the time- unfortunately that was how I coped.  "If I don't laugh, I'll cry" - so I laughed, a lot.

I have more hope for this round.  I don't know why- I say it every time I attempt to lose weight.  I really do feel like this could be the turning point for me.  I am done with everything being in limbo, or in a cluster.  So I am working very hard on going through my stuff at home- dumping what I don't want and selling what I can for extra $$$.  Doing all I can to get my finances balanced - there are more things that I need to just be able to function then I can afford at the present time.  I also need to drop things that aren't a necessity.  This means I will be having to for-go what very small social life I do have.  This is my punishment for not having the right financial skills.  The only odd thing- I'm ok at this point with no social life.  I live to sleep anyway since the only people I see when I'm awake are coworkers at ungodly hours.  Who needs daytime socializing?!

I could continue to ramble- as I am at work and it is 5:15am, I have 2 hours left and am fading very fast.  Tired doesn't being to explain me right now.  I am dreaming of 9:00am - this is the time I will be home and on my way off to dream land.