Sporadic update

As I sit down to update, there's a wave of depression sadness that hits me.  I think it's all the stress/anxiety/struggle I've had recently.  I just feel very defeated and stuck. I know this feeling will pass but I hate when they hit....so I try to focus on things I do have control over.

I just [reluctantly] put in my notice at the Emergency Clinic that I work at.  School starts next month (ahh!) and I just can't do 2 jobs, school and working on me.  I know it is for the best- I may even be able to go back at some point.  This time being a technician :D

Since I am starting to work on my priorities (i.e. school over 2 jobs, working out over focusing on work), I am already starting to hit resistance again.  I went through this the first time I focused on me.  I thought that since they saw that I lost weight and was doing good that I wouldn't encounter it during the second round.  Boy was I WRONG.
The only person I have on my side (in my house) is my sister and even she isn't 100%.  No one can see why I spend so much on gyms/trainers/etc.  It's hard to explain....sometimes.  I am not an uber motivated person.  So when I find a place or person that motivates me/gets me excited to go I cling to that.  They usually understand why I'm putting myself first and focusing on me.  I am 31 years old and I have had way more things in my life that have affected by body then I should have.  Which I am fine with but given that I am getting older and my calling in life is very physically demanding-  I need to get myself back in check.  My job was much easier when I was much more fit.

In that voice- I am sad to say I will be cancelling my OrangeTheory membership.  As much as I do love it- it doesn't challenge me the way I like.  I like lifting weights, being physically challenged but not just in the generic cardio sense (treadmills).  I have gotten myself a Groupon for Title Boxing.  They are a gym that does boxing & kickboxing, as well as personal training with weights.  I am every excited and nervous.  I am not in the shape I used to be, but I know this will kick my butt and I will love it.  The Groupon I acquired gets me wraps and gloves (YAY!).  A friend of mine goes there and swears by it.  I'm just excited because I love to hit things. ;)
I did 1 or 2 sessions of boxing WAY back when I very first had a personal trainer.  It was so much fun...my whole body was sore and the time flew by.  I just need something that gets me excited.  I am going to sign up for my first class either next Wednesday or next weekend. I will make a note in my phone to update with how that goes.  :)

I'm ready for the inside me to match the outside me.

I have been done pretty good if I do say so myself in the area of tracking food, and I have definitely increased my water in take.  I will be taking a few more baby steps this weekend to be even more prepared then I have in the past.  I am down half a pound.  Not a tremendous drop but a drop none-the-less.  I really need to get moving...read the above, that will be fixed soon enough. :D

The love of my life...my Wiggle-Butt gave me quite a scare this weekend.  I have been watching his liver levels for quite some time.  The boy does have quite an array of issues and recently I've had to increase meds that do affect the liver.  This time we pulled his blood and once we spun it down to be sent to the lab, his serum looked yellow.  Now for those of you not in the animal field, or have any friends/family in there- yellow serum is a very strong indication of liver failure/issues.
So I spent Friday night....ok we're all friends here, I spent my weekend curled up, loving on my boy and some tears were shed.  Come Monday, results are 100% perfect.  In fact the boy has never had more perfect levels.  I don't know how it happened but I'm definitely not going to argue.

I get nervous when it comes to my boy.  He's now 7 (will be 8 in Dec), and is technically geriatric. :'(  My other sheepie I had growing up had to leave me at the age of 9 [his age].  He had a spinal tumor.  Now my Wiggle-Butt doesn't have a tumor but he's got a myriad of other issues- including degenerative joint disease, hip dysplasia, degenerative disc disease, spondylosis.  So more than likely his hips/back will be his undoing.  Anywho- I get nervous because I'd like this one to get to double digits.  Yes, I am an over worrier....any wonder I am in the field I'm in.

Riley | aka Wiggle-Butt |

Animals are my life.  I have also grown to accept that not everyone is like me, and I will be met with resistance.  I just never thought it'd be my family- who is supposed to support me. Yes, I am weird and following my happiness to work with animals- regardless of what my paycheck will be.  As much as I'd love to get a job I don't totally love and probably more financially stable, it's not in my cards.  I am at my best with animals.

I do wonder what it's like when you are actually surrounded by people who feel the way you do about your job/career.  The only job I've found that 100% in is at my Emergency Clinic.

Do you have a job that you love and no one in your circle gets it?  Or are you surrounded by people who get it and encourage you to go and excel?

Gearing up

One thing- how the frig do I get pictures to actually show up on this thing!?!?!?  I have tried various ways of doing pictures and they won't stay up.  If anyone knows- please share with me!

Now, that that annoyance has been vented about...on to the good stuff. 

I am signing up as I type to be an Advocare distributor.  I signed up basically for the $50 of free Spark and Slam...also the 20% discount you get as a distributor.  I don't really have anyone to sell to but hey- I'm all about the discount.  If anyone's interested in products or whatnot, let a girl know. :)

In doing this I am amping up to get my booty in gear.  I got 15# to drop in about a month.  This is totally doable if I were to do the 24-day challenge that Advocare has.  It starts days 1-10 with a cleanse and then maintenance...not sure I want to spend the $175 to do that.  I can probably just buy the bits and pieces I want and go from there.  Nervous about doing the cleanse again...last time I did that it was almost disturbing how much I was sweating from detoxing.  I know it'll be like that again with the backsliding that has occurred.  As I type this I think I'm talking myself into it. :)

This week was the first week of me having a regular schedule again.  I love it!  It's going to be great once I get in the swing of things.  I know my job pretty well but there are still some things that are being learned as they come up.  The only thing is the lovely monthly visitor has gotten my food all jacked up.  I can never be too hard core during that week.  My body literally rejects the good food.  Next week though- it's on!

I'm going to be food prepping Monday (that's my only day off).  This will include food shopping for the next 2 weeks.  I'm going to try to budget for 2 weeks worth of food in my paychecks.  No excuses!  I can't have excuses to do this.  I didn't make excuses the first round and I was almost down 100#.  I hate the struggle- I know it is part of the journey.  To an extent anyway. ;)

I am excited for all of this- ready to get into a good routine.  I need to get some sanity back in my life.

If you keep up with me long enough you will learn I love Old English Sheepdogs.  I have one named Riley (who is my first fur baby).  I had a sheepie growing up- Prince.  They are as different as night and day.  Anywho- this will be coming this weekend hopefully. :D
One final attempt at a picture:

"the paw - the head - the wiggle butt"