I am nowhere near the goal I had set for myself come my birthday. My birthday has come and passed and I am actually a tad heavier than I was. This does not make me happy....however, at the same time I don't have anything or anyone to blame but myself.
I no longer have Alpha or Beta as my trainer(s). Somehow I always end up with really knowledgeable trainers with smart mouths that don't do well with management. One gets fired and the other gets kicked out. Neither are doing personal training anymore and now I'm back at square 1. I had this conversation with my sister and friend at lunch the other day. I am not a person who is self motivated....to a certain extent. I need that person to push me to do things that I don't think I can do or don't want to do. I have set up to try out a boxing/kickboxing gym but I think I might be better served at an overall gym- one that has other classes along with training. Basically like I had back when I was training at Gold's. I loved and am still friends with my trainer from there. Flakey and unreliable he could be but we worked well together- he worked for me. Life being what it is caused issues and things didn't end the way I had anticipated.
I am now getting a fire back...I'm feeling good about finding a new gym. Even if I don't get a trainer right away- getting back to a gym that has classes, like spinning (LOVE spinning). I need something to move me/excite me to get my rear end back in the gym. I KNOW I can and will do this.
NO MORE EXCUSES!
I have to gain some control. Right now I feel like I have no set control on anything going on right now. I am waiting to hear from school to see if I've been accepted into the Veterinary Technician program. I want this so bad. It was a bit of a confirmation when I had my review and one of the doctors told me- it's great that I have all this experience, probably too much experience. I tend to give too much information over the phone of things people can do at home and not making it a priority to bring them in for appointments. Anywho- that's weighing on my mind and generically my pocket. I am working 2 jobs and even though the one job is just once a week it's killing my schedule. I can't quit though....need the $. At the same time this once a week job makes me feel slightly social.
While trying to get things set up on here I found my old Photobucket account, which had this picture stored:
This was taken before a friend's wedding. This guy was nice enough to go with me- good friend and I miss him. I have been having this overwhelming, sadness I guess I'll go with. Missing some friends I haven't seen or talked to in a long time. I have no social life- maybe that's what happens when you grow up, are an adult. You have the people you work with and the friends you see or talk to from time to time. I think that's also part of why I get invested in gyms and trainers- another social outlet.
Alright enough of my rambling/venting. I'll be sure to plan out a better update for the next one- I was just wanting to get something written to get into the habit again.
